tsunami

tragedies such as the ones that struck japan recently make it difficult to believe that life actually is beautiful. one minute, you're entering your home tired but otherwise feeling great. a bit short of breath from having to climb the stairs, but you hardly notice that because the good stuff easily outweighs whatever reasons there may be to complain. and then you glance at the t.v. and without warning you are bombarded with images of ruination so massive that it creates a cacophony of senseless noises in your head as your brain repeatedly attempts - and fails - to accept that what you are seeing is really happening.

when you finally come to your senses the first thing you do is find out if the people you know in that area are safe.

one of the persons closest to my heart lives in japan, and in a panic i dial her number. in my frustration i could not even recognize if the language spoken in her answering machine is german or japanese. i hung up the phone and quickly sent an e-mail to all her e-mail addresses asking if she's ok. she e-mailed back assuring me that she was, that she was on the other side of japan and didn't even feel the earthquake. it was as if a tsunami of relief and thankfulness flooded me then.

while i feel and pray for everyone who suffered and continue to suffer from the earthquakes and tsunamis that hit japan, i do not know any of them personally. and as wislawa szymborska says, in the poem "thank you note":

i owe so much
to those i don't love

the relief as i agree
that someone else needs them more

the happiness that i am not
the wolf to their sleep

the peace i feel with them
the freedom -

love can neither give
nor take that

i don't wait for them
as in window-to-door-and-back
almost as patient
as a sundial

tragedies such as the ones that struck japan recently make it difficult to believe that life actually is something to be grateful for.

sometimes you just have to content yourself with being thankful for the fact that it could have been worse.